Yes, I Really DID Just Say That: May 2012

Have you ever looked at the world and thought that there is no hope for humanity? If you haven't then you must be a ~~fucking clueless bastard~~ real optimist.

This is an honest conversation that several admins and I had about how to save the world. And some who wanted to destroy our genius plan.

SIDENOTE: Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Also the guilty who obviously want to see the world in ruins.

STFU:

HH and I just figured out how to create world peace and solve the economic crisis. It may involve sporking birds, jamaican jerk vulture, big boobed shrines in our honor, and mass amounts of plastic surgery, and Ryan Reynolds. Just thought you should know.

· · · Yesterday at 5:21pm

- HH: it's a foolproof plan
  
  Yesterday at 5:24pm ·
- STFU: Impossible to fail.
  
  Yesterday at 5:24pm ·
- PAUSE: How can I help
  
  Yesterday at 5:25pm via mobile ·
- HH: the first step is to spork all birds on the planet. fuckers.
  
  Yesterday at 5:25pm · · 1
- STFU: So we need lots of sporks.
  
  Yesterday at 5:25pm ·
- NSM: I can get knorks, or do you want to stick with sporks?
  
  Yesterday at 5:26pm · · 1
- HH: spork per bird. unless you get the metal ones. those
  might be a better investment
  
  Yesterday at 5:26pm · · 2
- STFU: knorks could work
  
  Yesterday at 5:26pm · · 2
- HH: they are pretty sturdy
  
  Yesterday at 5:27pm ·
- HH: really all we need to do is go to fast food restaurants
  and swipe them.
  
  Yesterday at 5:27pm ·
- HH: and then begin to spork away
  
  Yesterday at 5:27pm ·
- STFU: But set the vultures aside on ice until we find a really
  good jamaican jerk recipe.
  
  Yesterday at 5:28pm ·
- HH: that is where we will make our millions and receive praise
  for ridding the world of vermin in a delicious way
  
  Yesterday at 5:30pm · · 1
- STFU: I think they bailed on our plan. Too bad, too, because
  we were just going to tell them about the Nobel Peace Prize
  and shrines. sheesh
  
  Yesterday at 5:31pm ·
- HH: and the resurgence of economies all over the world. tsk
  
  Yesterday at 5:32pm · · 1
- STFU: They have no vision. Dammit. The world is screwed.
  
  Yesterday at 5:32pm · · 1
- HH: It's just you and me
  
  Yesterday at 5:32pm · · 1
- HH: against the world.
  
  Yesterday at 5:33pm ·
- STFU: ‎^I'm fine with that.
  
  Yesterday at 5:33pm ·
- PAUSE: I'm still here, I'm collecting supplies
  
  Yesterday at 5:34pm via mobile · · 2
- HH: excellent
  
  Yesterday at 5:39pm · · 1
- F4F: We're all doomed!!! ;-)
  
  Yesterday at 5:45pm via mobile ·
- HH: YOU are, while we will flourish
  
  Yesterday at 5:47pm · · 2
- STFU: ‎^that. They won't be allowed in the Cultured Vulture,
  and since that's all anyone will ever eat, they'll starve.
  
  Yesterday at 5:48pm · · 2
- HH: ‎^bazinga!
  
  Yesterday at 5:48pm · · 1
- F4F: I saw what happened to STFU's hotel... Nuff said. :)
  
  Yesterday at 5:50pm via mobile · · 1
- HH: haters gonna hate
  
  Yesterday at 5:51pm · · 1
- STFU: Can we banish F4F to the moon?
  
  Yesterday at 5:51pm · · 2
- F4F: Thanks "Alice." :)
  
  Yesterday at 5:53pm via mobile · · 1
- HH: POW!
  
  Yesterday at 5:55pm · · 1
- Diary: Did you all get high without me?!?!
  
  Yesterday at 5:56pm · · 1
- F4F: Haha.
  
  Yesterday at 5:57pm via mobile ·
- STFU: Nope. Just trying to better the world.
  
  Yesterday at 5:57pm ·
- Diary: Oh okay...just making sure! Thought there might have
  been a little puff puff pass action going on! O.o
  
  Yesterday at 5:58pm ·
- F4F: I think STFU and HH bought some "magic" beans...
  
  Yesterday at 5:59pm via mobile · · 2
- HH: No, we're just geniuses
  
  Yesterday at 5:59pm via mobile · · 1
- HH: Using our powers for good
  
  Yesterday at 6:00pm via mobile · · 1
- STFU: This is actually one of our more mild plans. You
  should hear the story about the tooth fairy, boob fairy, and
  laundry fairy.
  
  Yesterday at 6:00pm · · 1
- NASAIL: Just so you all know, as soon as I read this 39
  minutes ago, I acquired the rights to all sporks, knorks, and
  jerk seasoning. So, for your plan to work you will have to
  pay me a hefty sum. Or do all of my laundry forever.
  
  Yesterday at 6:01pm · · 1
- F4F: Which one turns into water and which one turns in to a
  big fluffy pink Mammoth again?
  
  Yesterday at 6:02pm via mobile ·
- STFU: Can we get back to the part where we've now ridden
  the world of those vile creatures and ended world hunger at
  the same time so they award us the Nobel Prize?
  
  Yesterday at 6:02pm · · 1
- STFU: ‎NASAIL, once we follow through with our plan, you
  will be paid a hefty sum.
  
  Yesterday at 6:04pm ·
- STFU: And why are you trying to stop worldwide happiness?
  You're supposed to be the nice one.
  
  Yesterday at 6:07pm ·
- NASAIL: I'll need some money up front or a goodly amount
  of laundry done before I release the merch.
  
  Yesterday at 6:07pm ·
- NASAIL: No STFU I'm not the nice one. Remember;
  "Not As Sweet As I Look".
  
  Yesterday at 6:07pm · · 1
- STFU: Fine. I've got PAUSE making knew knorks as we
  speak. We'll work around your evil genius.
  
  Yesterday at 6:08pm · · 1
- NASAIL: I shall sue you, I own all the copyrights. Besides,
  you cannot have worldwide happiness unless you plan to kill
  the dissenters.
  
  Yesterday at 6:09pm · · 1
- STFU: And I'll make my own jerk seasoning.
  
  Yesterday at 6:09pm ·
- NASAIL: Can't no seasoning available to do it. Oh, I also
  had vultures declared endangered, so you cannot kill them.
  
  Yesterday at 6:10pm · · 1
- STFU: There will be no dissenters. And they'll drop all
  charges after we save the world and realize we had to do it
  for the betterment of all humankind.
  
  Yesterday at 6:12pm ·
- NASAIL: Can't save the world from jail. There are always
  dissenters. I mean, F4F is already one.
  
  Yesterday at 6:13pm ·
- NASAIL: I'll lead a revolution.
  
  Yesterday at 6:13pm ·
- STFU: So you WANT to live in a world with vultures
  pooping on your head and no big boob shrines? That's just
  sad.
  
  Yesterday at 6:14pm ·
- NASAIL: I have big boobs, I'm like my own shrine and
  I don't think it was a vulture that pooped on HH and I
  have never been pooped on by one. I don't
  even know anyone that has ever been pooped on by one.
  Really, should we punish all vultures for the alleged
  sins of the few?
  
  Yesterday at 6:16pm · · 1
- STFU: Fine. The first vulture lives. I'll make him my pet.
  (His name is George. Say hi to George). I'll train him to
  take out the leader of the revolution first. Since he's a
  vulture, all evidence is destroyed.
  
  Yesterday at 6:16pm · · 1
- NASAIL: Pssh, not all evidence. They really are not
  very effective at destroying a corpse.
  
  Yesterday at 6:18pm ·
- STFU: Either way. A vulture did it. Not us. When
  was the last time you saw someone convicted of
  murder via training a vulture named George? Ok,
  now that the revolution has been eaten...errr...
  taken care of...
  
  Yesterday at 6:20pm ·
- STFU: Oh yeah, back to the Nobel Prize. We
  win it. (Go us!!!) and everyone is so grateful
  that their world is now awesome, so they build
  shrines in our honor. Lots of them.
  And the really pretty ones. The boobs will be
  perky and bigger than our real ones,
  but only because no one wants to make us sad.
  
  Yesterday at 6:26pm · · 1
- HH: NASAIL just doesn't want to see us succeed.
  
  Yesterday at 6:32pm · · 1
- HH: and she likes anarchy an chaos
  
  Yesterday at 6:32pm · · 2
- HH: plus i'm going to need proof of this paperwork that I do
  not believe exists.
  mhmmm that's right, calling your bluff evil woman
  
  Yesterday at 6:33pm · · 2
- STFU: While NASAIL is gathering nonexistent paperwork
  in the off chance that George didn't get her, I'll continue.
  So, since everyone now adores us, they all need to get plastic
  surgery to emulate the new "big boobed" us, and plastic
  surgeons around the world are suddenly busier than
  they've ever been before.
  
  Yesterday at 6:36pm ·
- HH: this will pump much needed money back into the
  economy, since it will then be a buyers market.
  Jerk vulture and tattis all around
  
  Yesterday at 6:37pm · · 1
- STFU: ‎^right? So all the little kiddos who grow up
  worshiping our shrines, see this, and go to college
  to become plastic surgeons and earn the newest,
  most popular degree in tattoo artistry.
  Education. Fixed.
  
  Yesterday at 6:41pm · · 2
- HH: Thus ending world hunger with the jerk chicken
  AND encouraging children to get higher education.
  It will also encourage people to start their own businesses.
  BA DA BING- the american dream has been restored
  and spread throughout the world
  
  Yesterday at 6:42pm · · 1
- HH: ‎*jerk VULTURE
  
  Yesterday at 6:43pm · · 1
- HH: sheesh.
  
  Yesterday at 6:43pm ·
- STFU: We get elected as the first ever co-Presidents, but
  we decline because we are too busy travelling the world to
  satisfy our worshipers and relax on beaches while we harass
  cabana boys.
  
  Yesterday at 6:44pm · · 1
- HH: sexually harass :)
  
  Yesterday at 6:45pm · · 2
- HH: Oh, and Ryan Reynolds will BEG to work for us.
  He likes the touching
  
  Yesterday at 6:46pm · · 1
- STFU: ‎^right. My bad. Then Ryan Reynolds
  (who's been in awe of us this whole time)
  begs to be our full time cabana boy.
  
  Yesterday at 6:46pm · · 1
- STFU: JINX!!
  
  Yesterday at 6:46pm ·
- HH: piss
  
  Yesterday at 6:46pm ·
- STFU: ‎^^and THAT's how we save the world.
  
  Yesterday at 6:47pm · · 1
- HH: anyone who doesn't agree wants to see the world implode!
  
  Yesterday at 6:47pm · · 1
- STFU: We are a beacon of hope in a sea of darkness.
  
  Yesterday at 6:47pm ·
- HH: I read that as a sea of diarrhea. same diff
  
  Yesterday at 6:48pm · · 1
- STFU: We should contact the giant rat. This deserves to be
  a movie. I'm dying over here!!!
  
  Yesterday at 6:49pm ·
- PAUSE: I'm holding ryan reynolds hostage
  
  Yesterday at 6:49pm via mobile ·
- HH: hell no you won't. we have ULTIMATE POWER!
  
  Yesterday at 6:49pm · · 2
- HH: and to think this all started with my boob getting shit
  on by a bird AGAIN
  
  Yesterday at 6:49pm · · 3
- HH: I'm not sure disney would go for the sexual harassment
  part heh
  
  Yesterday at 6:50pm · · 1
- HH: OR the slaughter of all the birds thanks to doodoo.
  but it's for the best. wtf do they do for us anyway??
  
  Yesterday at 6:50pm · · 1
- STFU: They can censor it. It's at the end, anyway. After
  the credits?
  
  Yesterday at 6:50pm · · 1
- HH: hahaha it will look like bloopers. if only they knew
  
  Yesterday at 6:53pm · · 2
- STFU: ‎^perfect!!
  
  Yesterday at 6:54pm ·
- HH: print this shit out. it's screenplay sellin' time
  
  Yesterday at 6:54pm · · 2
- The players:
  STFU- That's me! Fucking DUUHHH!!!
  
  HH- Holdin Holden https://www.facebook.com/holdinholden
  
  PAUSE: Life on PAUSE https://www.facebook.com/lifeonpause
  
  Diary: Diary of a Not So Wimpy Mom https://www.facebook.com/pages/Diary-of-a-not-so-wimpy-mom/124108407688508
  
  NASAIL: Not As Sweet As I Look:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Not-As-Sweet-As-I-Look/183695428372725
  
  F4F: Fodder 4 Fathers https://www.facebook.com/fodder4fathers
  
  I you don't find that funny, then you obviously don't know me. I'm still laughing a day later about it!!! The question is, which one of you is going to submit this as a screenplay to a major movie studio for us?!?!?

Yes, I Really DID Just Say That

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Random Thoughts to Save the World

HH and I just figured out how to create world peace and solve the economic crisis. It may involve sporking birds, jamaican jerk vulture, big boobed shrines in our honor, and mass amounts of plastic surgery, and Ryan Reynolds. Just thought you should know.

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