Thursday, February 16, 2012

I Said What?!?!?

Growing up, I was the "good girl" who never got in trouble. I never said a bad word, never ratted out my brothers and sister, never spoke back to my parents or teachers. (I'll pause now while you clean the spit off of your computer screen.)

Honestly, though, I really was! I never caused trouble got caught, and never got grounded from anything until I was 16 years old. (That drunken incident is on public record so do yourself a favor and Google it.) Maybe my mother was a better parent than I am, and just knew how to raise "good kids". And, by that, I mean that if any of you ever say that I said that publicly I will spork you.

Grounding kids from "being outside" is, sadly, not effective for me. Not when I live in the Northeast, anyway. Hell, if there isn't any snow on the ground, there's no fucking way my kids want to go out and "brave the elements"!

So, I've resorted to grounding them from "stuff". My kiddos have been grounded from everything under the sun for being little punks. TV, electronics, Barbie dolls, the dog (Wait, what?!?!)you name it...they've suffered through the withdrawal.

Tonight, however, I made, what is quite possibly, the biggest "grounding" mistake of my parenting career.

I grounded them from speaking to each other. At. Fucking. All.

Maybe my mother was right, and realized that grounding kids, at such a young age, would come back to haunt me. Or maybe she was just clueless about the shit I pulled off. Or maybe I was a genius who knew how to get away with it. I'll assume it's the last one...but I digress.

One day for every nasty word they spoke to each other. As it turns out, that just means that they have to whine to ME rather than each other! That, and the fact that they will never speak to each other again until they are mourning/celebrating my death, just means that I'm stuck hearing about every little whiny thing. For. Fucking. Ever!!!

Bad decisions. They happen. What's your worst disciplinary decision ever?


  1. I, too, have made the mistake of telling the kids they can't play with each other. AT ALL. I've taken EVERY FUCKING THING AWAY.
    They're still fucking evil. And it always backfires. I'm sure my worst is yet to come

  2. I'm going to ground them from speaking to ME next time!